Odds are quite high that you choose the picture on the right.  Don't feel bad it is perfectly natural.  You are the product of tens of thousands of years of selective breeding.  In the animal world the male and female of the species always strives to breed with a mate who has the best genetics.  This manifests itself in many ways in the animal kingdom.  The bird with the brightest plumage.  The lion with the big mane.  The bear with the biggest territory.  

In the prehistoric world of humans it worked the same way.  Men looked for women with physical symmetry large, rounded breasts and hips with a smaller waist.  This is not a new phenomenon created by the mass media.  Just the opposite it true, mass media has discovered this to be a basic reality and have used to sell everything from cars to insurance.  Studies done in the most isolated cultures in the world reveal that men are attracted to this type of women.  

The same selection process was true for women.  Women in prehistoric times women looked for men who were big, strong and could protect and provide for them and their children.  So why do I dwell on this prehistoric fact of nature?  I believe in order to understand current human behavior we have to understand our past.

As someone who does not posses many traits that society considers to be culturally attractive I have been personally affected by this genetic hardwiring.  I am skinny, bald, gangly and pale.  I am fairly confident that, in a prehistoric world that relied on Darwin's theory of Natural Selection, I would not have lived to be more then 6 or 7 years old.  I have none of the superficial traits that other humans find attractive.  If you want to know if you are in the same category.  I suggest you use the simple Chris Rock method of determination.  Chris states, "If you are ugly, girls get to know you and then sleep with you."  "If you are good looking they will sleep with you first, then try to get to know you."  I spent a lot of time getting known.  

I know what you are thinking the Survival of the Fittest Rules are longer applicable for life in 21st Century.  I mean Bill Gates could provide for thousands of wives and children however, I am not convinced that he could stalk and capture a bowl of Jell-O.  However, the rules are still in effect and if you know that you can adjust accordingly.

You can adapt.  Since I have been underweight and bald for a great deal of my life I found that I compensated by making people laugh and by listening.  Skills which serve me well as a speaker and trainer.  After serving as state president for the Indiana Jaycees I was appointed to the national board of directors.  I represented the U.S. Junior Chamber all across America.  As a virtual unknown entity I also enjoyed a great deal of anonymity, early in my term.  I would be sent into a state for their quarterly conference.  I would usually arrive on a Friday and be responsible for facilitating training seminars on Saturday and provide the keynote address on Saturday night.  It did not take me long to figure out that I could learn a great deal on Friday evening.  I would put on the attire of the masses and go out to the networking suites, dances and informal gathering places.  People seldom talked to me.  I would introduce my self simply as Mike and people would not be receptive to my joining their conversation.  Mostly I stood around and listened.

Things changed during the conference kick off sessions on Saturday morning.  The state president would go to the podium and give me a rousing introduction, I would enter from the back of the room and make my way to the podium.  The look on the people's faces that had ignored me the night before was priceless.  It also gave me plenty of material to talk about during the seminars on activation and meeting the needs of people.  

I noticed when I traveled with the attractive national officers that they did not face the same challenges.  People who did not know them from Adam would invite them to join groups and engage in conversations.  It was only after people had heard me speak or had been in one of my seminars that I got the same reception.

Am I bitter? No.  I have learned to compensate for my superficial shortcomings.  I have a quick wit, an ability to deliver from the podium and I truly understand the isolation many people feel.   I have never depended upon my looks to get by and I am stronger and more competent for that.  I can be the center  of attention when I choose to to be.  If I was drop dead gorgeous I would be the center of attention all the time.  Yikes, who needs that pressure.

Mike Marshall - www.MikeMarshall.com

 

In Tribute Jim Varney a.k.a. Ernest P. Worrell Comedy Genius